ARCHIVE: Reddit OCDs
I spend a lot of time on reddit, sometimes too much. While I have no qualms (yet) about the amount of time I spend there, I do have a lot of issues about HOW I spend my time there. Here are some of my reddit obsessions. I wonder if I'm the only one with these:
- If more than one person replies to my comment and I feel like replying to one of them, I feel obligated to say something to the rest of the repliers too.
- Every single link on the Hot & Recommended pages must be purple. Really bad headlines for articles that I don't want to read, must get the 'hide.'
- Must click on my username every few minutes to check which of my comments get up and down votes.
- Discover patterns within the up/down vote stream for each comment. E.g. a two-three sentence long comment made early on in a rising article can get 10-30 up votes and up to five replies even if it is not a great observation while detailed, informative comments made three hours after a link hits Hot page will get 10 up votes but rarely any comments.
- Open Hot, New, Recommended pages in three different tabs with the mail icon showing red in all. After reading the mail from Hot tab and closing it, click on the mail icon in other tabs and get disappointed to find no new comments.
- Click on the New page and smile when over 25% of articles are purple and ensure every article with a red (friend) submitter is purple.
- Must click every hidden comment to see why it has negative points. Act furious upon reading it and then promptly down vote it.
- Battle my inner-self to decide if the logical, sane, and factually correct comment at X votes that I disagree with should get a down vote because its parent/child comment that I agree with and have already awarded an up vote to, also has X points now. I have the opportunity to reverse the fate of the comments! Should I take it or just let it go?!
- After submitting articles, refresh the New page every 30 seconds to track their gradual fall off the page. Each time an article gets a bump of more than 5 slots, rejoice for a moment before realizing and lamenting at the predictability of my actions: "Now due to a construct in my mind that makes their falling and their flight symbolic of my entire existence, it becomes important for me to get up and see their last second curves toward flight. It's almost as if my life will fall unless I see their ascent" - Cake.
- Bemoan the prevalence of mildly-amusing [pic] and [video] links and not enough well-researched, well-written, unbiased articles as I up vote every funny street sign, fully aware of my own hypocrisy.