My cousin Keval, 43, passed away today in Mumbai, India, surrounded by his parents, sister, my dad, and lots of loved ones who came to wish him a final good bye. Almost twenty-two years ago, he got into an accident in Goa, India. His recovery was long and while he managed to recover some control of his arms, he lost his voice and mobility. What he never lost, was his fighting spirit and sense of humor. Over two decades of medical assessments, surgeries, physical therapy, and repeated bouts of hospitalizations and ICU stays complicated by long-term bed rest — he had faced it all.

He was a year younger than me. In May 2002, he got an all-paid full-scholarship-type admission into one of India's biggest engineering colleges: K. J. Somaiya College of Engineering. I was SO proud of him! We were planning our post-education careers together. We had some ambitious plans.

This one time, he sent me an IBM Research Puzzle and we solved it together online over AIM (AOL Instant Messenger chat) despite being half way around the world from each other. And to this day, the sidebar on the IBM puzzle page still has our names on there: "Keval Mehta (12.14.2002@06:34:36PM EST) / Chirag Mehta (12.14.2002@06:34:36PM EST)"

We grew up far from each other in India so only met for a few days each summer and barely got to know each other beyond surface-level. There was no Internet or email back then and phone calls across states were very expensive. And yet, once I moved to the US in 2000, despite being even further apart now, AIM brought us closer together. We were both night owls so it was pretty easy to catch each other online, no matter the time of day. We talked so much, my raw text chat logs with him got over 1mb! I just dug up my old chat logs and re-read some of them. I'm all tears right now. He was going to move here in 2004-2005. We were going to live together and code 24/7 until we hit it big. We had our whole lives ahead of us and we were so excited for it to get started.

For many years, I've thought about the last time we talked on AIM before his accident and I vaguely recalled being busy and not having a memorable conversation. I've always felt guilty about it — this was the last time we talked online and I probably just said hi/bye quickly. But I just looked it up and I was wrong!

On Jan 13, 2004 at 12:46:09 AM, KooL KevaL said "yo". I replied "sup", as people back in 2004 did, and then told him "groundhog day = good movie". We chit-chatted for a while about movies, music, song lyrics, and then he asked me about my stress-level and mental health. I didn't expect him to ask but was so glad he did. I shared that I'd been feeling better lately and he was happy to hear it. He said he had to log off and study, I bid him adieu as only a true bro would, with a "take care biatch", he said the obligatory "lol", and then...

KooL KevaL signed off at 12:57:46 AM, Jan 13, 2004.

I never deleted him from my AIM buddy list because I always hoped that someday, he would sign on and give me his standard "yo". AIM is gone now but I never stopped hoping and dreaming that he was going to email me out of the blue and tell me that he's all better now and ready to start our software company together.

My one-year old baby Hari is sleeping on my chest right now as I write this. He is slowly recovering from an RSV infection with low-grade fever. He's doing well overall and hitting the expected premie milestones. When he's old enough, I will tell him about his late Uncle Keval. Just like I told Naveen and Leela tonight. I took them out to dinner, showed them old photos & videos, and talked for a good half an hour. On the drive home, we sang songs together. We were singing along to They Might Be Giants' Istanbul and Violent Femmes' Blister in the Sun, when out of nowhere, Monty Python's Always Look on the Bright Side of Life popped up in the queue. I don't know if Keval had watched Monty Python skits or movies but I know he loved Office Space and would have definitely loved this song.

Always look on the bright side of life
(Whistle) (Come on!)
Always look on the right side of life
(Whistle)

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin
Give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow

[Chorus]
So always look on the bright side of death
(Whistle)
A-Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's the joke, it's true
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughin' as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you
And...

[Chorus]
Always look on the bright side of life...

Rest in peace my brother. I love you Keval.

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