Tue, 31st Dec '02, 1:20 am::

Extremely tired and sleepy right now. Had an ok fun day today. In the evening went to see a Speilberg film: Catch Me If You Can. A fantastic 100% fun filled 2 hours :)

Also got this email early in the morning which totally messed up my mood:

    "Hello Chirag,
    I'm ***** from 53 Morrell Street. I'm writing to tell you that unfortunately we rented the room to someone else today. Please don't take it personally, that's the way these things work sometimes. I'm sure you could still find a place close to college avenue and your job.
    sorry for the inconvenience,

    *****, 53 Morrell.

Yada yada yada! No matter how much I try to not take it personally, it's just not gonna work! Dammit it IS personal! It's not like they rejected me for a job or admission in a college based upon some written portfolio and letter of recommendations. I went there in person, talked to them nicely, asked them a few questions about the house and everyone living in it, they asked me a few questions about myself, and then I left smiling and hopeful. Then they picked someone else over me probably because they liked him/her more than me. If that's not personal, then I don't know what is personal. "Sure, you're a great decent guy, but we just don't want you living in our house with us you know!" Ya well, great.

As it is I have never ever been able to handle rejections very well, and now I gotta go back to Jersey and start the house-hunting process all over again, even though I will have NO time whatsoever for anything other than my job on campus and the 3-4 mega sites I have to start & finish within the next 30-45 days! Rejections, of any sort... somebody PLEASE teach me how the hell to handle them. Failure, I can absolutely handle, because I know that I failed ONLY because I did not work hard enough. And so I'm never worried about success & failure, because they are related to hard work, efforts, diligency, and perseverance (also luck & intelligence but I don't worry about them much). However, acceptance and rejections, I have no control over them. They are out of my powers. As I was growing up, I often thought that someday I'll learn how to accept rejections, or even learn how to get people to accept me. Alas, I'm still as naive and childish in this regards.

Oh well, what am I crying over! It's just a stupid house anyway! It's not like there's no other house in the area to move into! Argh!

Anyways, have a good night everyone! And almost a Happy New Year now... Tomorrow, I'm prolly gonna go a bit sightseeing around the city and maybe some cool New Year's Eve party :)

 < Nov 2002Jan 2003 >