Fri, 17th Oct '03, 7:45 pm::

Anyways, went on a LOOOOOOONG shopping/driving spree with Mason the Mighty. Went to my aunt's store and picked up my new cellphone. Then went to the Indian grocery store right next to it, got lotsa spicy and oily (just kidding) Indian food. Mason did his best to embarass me in front of all the sweet 50 yr old Indian ladies. Imagine a big strong 6'1" semi-bald white guy trying to pull a Sushmita Sen by swinging his hips and shaking his head to the beats of Mehboob Mere from Fiza. Yes. I can NEVER go to that place again without all the ladies at the counter laughing at me. Hehe! On to my aunt's house, I finally met my cuzins after almost a month. I've been busy with exams and work; haven't been able to see them at all. I finally picked up my winter clothes :) Then off to Walmart to buy myself more crap I don't need. Probably spent over $100 today for no reason whatsoever (well other than living well).

On the way back to the bunker from Walmart, Mason told me how he admired his best friend Dee the most in the world when it comes to personality. And added he admired me the most when it comes to intelligence and do-it-yourself-attitude. I said thanks but what did he mean by do-it-yourself? He answered that he respected the fact that despite being giving everything a man could ask for in life, I decided to build it all on my own. I had previously told him how my dad gave me a car @ 18 (though I could not drive, or rather, was too scared to) and how my aunt and uncle have done their best to help me get a good education here and still want me to leave my bunker and go back to live with them. He said, "if there was ANYONE else in your place, he would have taken the car at 18 and that good job at your dad's friend's company, or still lived in that awesome house with your aunt - but you do not. Because you want to make everything on your own, with your own efforts, and I respect that." While that made me feel like I just got a phone call from the Nobel Institute, it made me realize how much his interpretation of my life conflicted with my understand of it. To him, it was an admirable thing for me to give up what was given to me so that I can make it on my own. To me, it seems like I have forever been ungrateful to anyone who gives me anything lovingly. Many times I wonder if this whole "I-want-this-I-want-that" attitude will take me away from what the most important elements in life are - family, friends, love. I don't know the answer, but I'm intimidated by its potential ill-effects. Yet I am enticed by the glory it offers. And once again, all I can say with certainity, is that the answer lies somewhere in the middle, balanced, normalized.

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