Wed, 25th Jun '03, 3:25 pm::

I'm still using my old pc. My new pc is all messed up. Let's say the mother died while delivering the twins (meaning the motherboard fried up after we installed the dual AMD cpu's). Sad sad. Gotta go through a long process and return it and get a new one. Urgh... I was without a computer on Monday! Can you believe it?

That Monday night taught me a lot of horrible sad things about myself. First of all, in my room I have no means of entertainment outside of my computer - no TV, no radio, no CD/DVD player, not even phone numbers of some of my friends! Sure, I could go out and meet up with a friend, but I mean if I'm alone in my room, there is nothing to do other than read a book. I eventually ended up reading Innumeracy by John Allen Paulos all night. Great book. Highly recommend it to people who love math, people who hate math, and people who are absolutely scared of math. What scares me though, is that without my computer I felt extremely helpless - no confidence, no self-esteem, no strength. I was so panicky and nervous. Next day I told my friend Derek how bad my night was and asked if I could be suffering from extreme internet or computer addiction. He said you're feeling just like a mechanic who has lost the tools of his trade. As crude as it sounded, his answer comforted me. But just like Sharon said the other day, we've all become slaves of technology, myself more so than anyone I know.

I do think I am addicted to the Internet and to computers in general. However, as far as I know, it's not affected my real life. While I have refused dates because of website work etc., I've never said no to hanging out with a friend because I wanted to chat online. So I don't think my addiction is in the disease stage (yet). The day I tell someone sorry I can't go see a movie because I have to read Fark will be the day I need serious help. So far so good...

Now, on to better things. On Sunday, I saw The Graduate on cable. I'd heard about Mrs. Robinson syndrome before and knew it was from this movie, but finally I got to see it. While I loved the movie, what I loved more are the songs. I knew about Simon & Garfunkel before, but this was the first time I paid attention to their songs and now am absolutely in love with their music (at least for this movie). Looks like they are reuniting this fall.

Anyways, gotta get back to work. Lotsa stuff to do...

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